I recently shared a post on my Facebook about an ABC article titled "How to spot an abusive relationship - and help a friend who's in one".  This seemed to resonate with a lot of people, so I will cover again here what I said in that post.



What did I say?

"Control is a cornerstone of many abusive relationships, so keep an eye out for signs that your friend is "being controlled around what she can and can't do, and what she can and can't say and think," says Inez Carey, a program specialist at 1800RESPECT"


A good article but I think it is unrealistic about the chances that your friend will listen. Your friend almost certainly will not agree, gently express your concern but be prepared to almost certainly be corrected.

The most important thing is to not alienate your friend by insisting that they admit the abuse. Instead consistently be there for them, checking in regularly without judgment or pushing. Then when they come to the realisation that they need help, your emotional support will be very important.



What they need is your time

I actually wrote about this in October, in response to a different issue around people making judgmental comments.  I spent a bit of time in that article covering what you should do if you express to your friend that you have concerns, and she tells you nothing is wrong.  You can read that article by clicking on the link.  The heading "What they need is your time" covers what I think you need to know in order to help your friend with DV, but was written before the ABC article.



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